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Dreaming Poem

January 27, 2012

FEBRUARY 8, 2012 EDIT So I finally fiddled with this. I feel like it’s still a bit rough, but one step closer to being shiny.  It also has a title! Thanks to the Invisible Ninja Cat and Dad for commenting and thank you daninstockholm for liking the post. Hopefully, you approve of these edits.

Falling into Dreaming

Someone once said,

what if we are all dreaming?

that our dreams are reality and when we wake up

we are actually falling

and just dreaming of each other

(What if, what if, what if)

 

Morphiate Hypnos:

tell me the lies of Romeo,

for Romeo is a lie that by lying tells truth.

(determined shocks of pink and yellow

amid the purpled blue)

 

 

Without you,

I’m driven to distraction

Are you a fading vision?

Am I?

A moonbeam bottled

substantiate the insubstantial

(reverse the sun’s dawning

to see the colors backwards)

 

 

But:

time shall go forever onward.

 

The lietmotif of dreams goes on as long as dreaming

No jugulator can make it bleed or end or ever truly perish

You think, I think, we think we are thinking

You dream, I dream, we dream we are dreaming

The augurs have given up.

all that glitters isn’t made for bones

(sun to melt the nighttime keepers)

 

You are my theme,

the clockwork,

that dreams tick by

So whether I fall into wakefulness

or wake into falling

You’re there, aren’t you?

 

Perhaps it’s fine

if we are only dreamers.

 

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From → Poetry

3 Comments
  1. First of all, I do like this one. It’s rougher than the others, but it’s still interesting. I’d just want you to eyeball it for rough bits and mess with it a bit – it’s difficult to figure out which bits make it rough.

    Starting sort of at the top:

    For a title, maybe Dreaming of a Fall, Falling through a Dream?

    In the second stanza, don’t use “flower” and “power” in the same section unless you want the 60s in your poem. Although if you add something about hallucinogens, it would be a great allusion. 🙂 Opium, morphine, LSD… you’ve got some options. 😀

    Random bits and lines I really like:
    The “But:/ Time shall go on forever” line/stanza is great.
    Jugulator. 😀 😀 😀
    “The augurs have given up.” Excellent. That’s really hilarious for some obscure reason. I’m getting the image of somebody reading bones or runes or entrails or something and suddenly throwing their hands in the air and storming out, leaving the person there for the reading sitting there going WTF??? Bonus points if it’s a king.

    Yay!

    And I finally have my wordpress account up and signed in, so I can comment properly!

  2. Am I Lost in a Dream?

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