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In which I become very angry at some men on Reddit who claim to be atheists

November 18, 2013

Warning: this post contains anger! If you’re not in the mood for a disparagement, feel free to watch this funny video that sets Guy Ritche’s Sherlock Holmes to the tune of “If You Were Gay.” It’s hilarious, and I quite enjoyed it.

Ready? *takes a deep breath*

So one day last week I was browsing the interwebs as I do, and I found this collection of images on tumblr. And I basically broke a gasket and I’m going to channel this energy into tearing it apart piece by piece, setting those pieces on fire, and chucking the ashes off a bridge.

Go on, look at it. I’m going to be referencing it a lot, so I recommend keeping it open it in another window or tab.

And my general plea is: please. Stop. Making Arses of Yourselves.


Atheism is the belief—and yes, it is a belief—that rejects the existence of deities. It’s one of those non-beliefs that ends up being a belief anyways. Atheism often taps into other thought movements such as empiricism and skepticism. It’s beautiful, actually, because if there are no deities, then the future and past and present are entirely up to the people. People are kind and good and lovely purely out of the choices they make, instead of because a God or gods crafted them that way, or because a God or gods told them to be. Art, architecture, eloquence, creation, beauty—humanity does that all on its own, without any help. It’s magnificent.

And this post is making it sound horrible.

Let’s start from the top. In the first picture, we see a finely dressed person inviting us i.e. “feeble-minded, religious human cattle” to enter their world through battles of “debate, class, and most importantly intelligence.” Wow, I’m definitely going to listen to you now that you’ve insulted me, and if we’re feeble, how are we supposed to debate with intelligence? Besides the point that if we’re just cattle how do you expect to debate with a cow, this statement contradicts the fact that many of the world’s ancient and modern thinkers were religious, including many of the founders of rational thought. Isaac Newton? Christian, man. Plato? Um, have you been to Ancient Greece they REQUIRE you to sacrifice to the gods. Same goes for Aristotle and Socrates, and all three of their philosophies and thoughts on religion gave credenence to monotheistic beliefs. The father of modern genetics, Gregor Mendel, was a monk. Francis Bacon, the father of empiricism? Anglican. Sir Thomas More: SO CATHOLIC HE LIVED LIKE A MONK, PROTESTANTS CUT OFF HIS HEAD, AND HE WAS MADE A SAINTCopernicusKepler: all of the major figures of the Scientific Revolution had to profess to believe in God, regardless of their personal beliefs. Many actually went into science (or natural philosophy as it was called) because they wanted to see how God made the universe work. And then there’s Galileo, called the Father of Modern Science. Galileo’s research was actually supported by Jesuit monks, and until everything went pear shaped with the Inquisition, he called himself Catholic. Are you calling these people cattle? Are you calling these people feeble? Get your hamster wheels workin’ right.

Not to mention, if you really want to change someone’s mind about something, you must first understand we’re they coming from and realize they are people. Just like you. You have to have compassion, or you’re yelling into a void and they won’t debate with you. What do they need? What do they want? Why did they make the choices they made instead of the choices you made? You can’t DO that if you demean them.

Next one, the man with the curly q beard. *Sigggghhhh* I acknowledge that atheists have been/continue to be oppressed and hurt. They have been throughout history. It must be particularly hard for you if you live in a deeply religious community or your family is also religious. Very…lonely. I’m sorry. However, while you are hurt and the statements you make come from a place of pain, these other groups—the LGBTQA, POC, and feminist communities—experience the same thing. Maybe not the exact words, but the same heart crushing sadness and loneliness and fear. Like, we fear to walk down the street at night. We fear telling our truths because it WILL make us out of a job, out of a home, and out of friends. We don’t get represented in mainstream media in a manner that reflects who we actually are. We aren’t given complexity or sometimes even a true voice when we are represented. You experience the same. Our hardships exist together, and it doesn’t matter if one is greater than another because they are BOTH happening. We should get together and STOP IT. Don’t put other movements down, or they won’t feel like helping yours.

Next is Mr. Smoker and basically the same response as the first one. All those people were religious and helped found scientific thought. My uncle and aunt are religious and they have doctorate decrees. Yes, some people are idiots and happen to be religious. Yet, some people are idiots and happen to be atheists. The two don’t go together. In fact, in my community, the private Catholic women’s high school has consistently had a 100% university attendance rate. On a side note, many religions do not involve “imaginary friends.” Do your research.

Congrats on finding a community, David! Did you know that the whole point of the Protestant Reformation in Europe was people were tired of having their sacred texts interpreted by a clergyman for them? Martin Luther, John Calvin, and many others decided it was high time the people took the Bible into their own intelligent hands and interpreted it how they liked. Have people deviated from this ideal? Of course! Does that give you the right to make a sweeping generalization about us deity-believing folk? No. Please allow your intelligence to continue to blossum. Take some gender and psychology courses.

Now the…. I think it’s a Youtube comment? Anyway, religion does cause wars. It’s also caused by massive jerkfaces who use religion as an excuse to go to war, acquire territory, and increase their own wealth, this need probably stemming from their own masculine insecurity about the size of their dick, their performance, and other negative pressures from patriarchy. It’s up to you to find out which it is!

How is the swag/class photo relevant to anything? Besides making atheism look like it’s full of white douchebags. It’s not.

Next the dark one with the poor spelling and grammar. First, you were probably so excited about that cool graphic (it is a nice pic) that you forgot to spell check. I do that too. Anyway, the point of many religions, ISN’T EUPHORIA. Many beliefs actually center around asceticism, which is THE DENIAL of worldly pleasures in order to fulfill a spiritual/religious goal. Did you think Gandhi starving himself was JUST THAT POWERFUL it brought peace to India? It tapped into the Hindu and Buddhist ideal of enlightenment through self-denial, which resonated with the ginormous number of Hindus and Buddhists living there.

Oh, and I assure you that many of people who fight for religious beliefs and kill others are completely rational. That’s what’s so frightening about them. They. Are. Just. Like. You.

Next, that’s wonderful, Aalewis, that you feel euphoria via intelligentism. I feel euphoria by eating the Body of Christ. We get the same result. My lifestyle doesn’t hurt anyone. Yours, at the moment, consists of you insulting mine. Please leave me alone and let me go about my life in the manner I see best and I’ll let you get along with yours.

That last one is a dayum good graphic.

In conclusion, you people are an insult to atheism. Yes, I said it. You’re taking a giant dump on your own belief system by being such asshats about it and pissing me off with your ignorance. Atheism is a beautiful belief that encourages individual, intelligent thought, and you’re making it ugly and stupid. I don’t like you. Get out.

  1. Okay, I completely agree with you. Although, I would like to point out that Sir Thomas More lived SORT of like a monk…. Right up until he got married and had babies. But yes, otherwise he basically lived like a monk.

    Yeah, I’m not believing that anyone who can’t make sure they properly spelled “rashional” (it’s rational, dingbats) is capable of rational discussion.

    The fact of the matter is, as well, that there are many spiritual people (myself included) who believe in a higher power but don’t let clergy do their work for them. They not only dissed the religious, but the agnostics. It’s the same small-mindedness they’re complaining about the whole time.

    And my belief in God doesn’t make me euphoric. It’s downright depressing most days. But I arrived at it after years of rational thought and consideration, not because someone told me to.

    And religion doesn’t cause wars. People cause wars, and they often use religion as an excuse. It’s not the same thing.

    And as far as oppression, I have this to say to ALL groups who complain about being oppressed: Live your life, speak up in the moment of oppression, and the rest of the time hold your head up high and don’t act like anyone’s oppressing you. Most people won’t if you give them the benefit of a doubt and don’t be an arse about it.


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